


Things You See When You Don't Have Your Gun

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-12-26
Updated: 1999-12-26
Packaged: 2018-11-10 13:22:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11127789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: When Ma Vecchio eavesdrops on Fraser and Ray Kowalski, she gets an eyeful.





	Things You See When You Don't Have Your Gun

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

 

Things  
You See When You Don't Have Your Gun

# Things You See When You Don't Have Your Gun 

##  **by blarney Stone**  


Rated R m/m BF/SRK Disclaimer: Due South belongs to Alliance, not me. No copyright infringement is intended.

**********************************************************************

I wasn't snooping. Really. How was I suppose to know that Benton would be naked in my house. He doesn't even come over here anymore; not since my Caro left to single-handedly bring down the mob. Oh, wait; I'm not suppose to tell you that. It's a secret and my darling Raimondo could get in big trouble if anyone found out, so I'll expect you to keep you mouth shut or else.   
  
Anyway, Benton and Ray stopped by last thursday afternoon to find a file or some such, in my Raimondo's room. No, no, don't be confused. This Ray is not my Ray; he's only pretending to be my Ray until my Ray gets back from putting the mob in jail. (remember, don't tell anyone.)   
  
Besides, would I let a son or mine out of the house looking like that? Rumbled jacket, ragged jeans, and his hair! I swear it sticks straight up on his head! Not to mention how skinny he is. A stiff breeze would blow him away. I tell you it's embarassing. People out there hear his name is Vecchio; look at his boney body, shake their heads, and ask, "What's wrong with his Mama that she doesn't feed him? Doesn't she know how to cook?" Oh sometimes I don't even want to show my face in public!   
  
Where was I? Oh yeah, Benton and Ray came over to find a file. (Fortunately, Francesca wasn't home. How that girl makes a fool of herself over Benton!) I left them to it and went to the kitchen to warm up the left over lasagna for Ray, and Benton's dog of course (he's such a sweetie).   
  
Well anyway, when I was finished, I put a little bowl down for the dog, and went upstairs to get the boys. I was about to knock on the door when I heard them talking.   
  
Ray said, "Seriously Fraser, I've never seen one before."   
  
"I find that hard to believe Ray."  
  
"No, you see, my mom signed a paper before I was born for the doctors to, you know, snip it off."   
  
I wasn't eavesdropping. I just didn't want to interupt their conversation.  
  
"You must have seen one some other time. In Gym class when the other boys took a shower." Benton said skeptically.   
  
"Nobody took showers after gym in my school."   
  
"That's disgusting, Ray!"   
  
"Hey, it was a rough school."   
  
A long pause, and I reached to turn the doorknob. Then. .   
  
"Does it get in the way when you're. .um, you know?" Ray asked.  
  
"Don't be silly. Most people in the world have them and they get along just fine."   
  
"Can I see it?"   
  
"No! I can't believe you'd ask me that!" Benton was shocked to the core, I could tell.   
  
"C'mon Fraser! Puleeeeze!" Ray whined, reminding me so much of my own Raimondo that I had to sigh.  
  
"Oh very well, but only for a moment."   
  
All right, I admit it. I was dying of curiosity. I cracked the door open and peeked inside. At first, all I could see was Ray's back; then he moved to the side and I noticed Benton holding something in his hand.   
  
It took me a moment to realize what it was. Ray reached out and pulled the little flap back, and I knew that it was Benton's. . his, his. . Oh I can't say it!   
  
Ray laughed and said, "Does it tickle?"   
  
I couldn't help myself! I shrieked and ran down the stairs. Safe in my own kitchen, I heard two sets of footsteps running down the stairs and out the front door. Those nasty boys couldn't face me after what they had done! In Raimondo's room of all places! I still can't believe it happened.   
  
That Ray, okay, maybe. Clearly, his mama never taught him right from wrong. (I mean, any mother who would let her boy get so skinny is unfit to take care of a dog), but Benton? He's so polite and neat! What's the world coming to?  
  
Well, there you have it; the whole ugly story. I've decided not to tell my Raimondo about it. He's such a good boy. He saved himself for marriage, you know. If only that Angela hadn't been such a slut and ruined his life, but I digress. My Raimond would never _ask_ to look at another man's. . you know. I'm going to have to watch him in the future, when he's hanging around that Benton.   
  
Now, I'm telling you this in the strictest confidence. I'll expect you not to spread it around the neighborhood. Heaven knows I wouldn't want to start any rumuors.  
  
the end   
  
Return to Blarney's Mainpage  
  



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